Decide Yourself: (Part 4 of 4): Avenues of Style

Hello butterflies!

I am closing the series with Style...

Style is such a loaded idea to me! Where should I begin?

When I think of style these are the concepts that come to mind:

• Swag
• Comfort
• Individual Expression
• Initial Impression
• Personal Brand 

Let's face it, in this day and age many of us wear many different hats (different roles) in our lives and we need outfits to go with those hats! Unfortunately, we all can't have Stacy and Clinton walk us through "What Not To Wear" but we can look in a mirror and decide if our attire is proper for the role we are playing or the brand we are selling. 

With all of the influence of pop culture, couture designs and hollywood icons we all fall victim to conforming to what the world tells us to wear. The major topic among bloggers and magazines is FASHION.  If mass media outlets put so much emphasis on what to wear, shouldn't we do the same? 

But, if we are being forced into a particular "style" because Vogue, Essence or Katy Perry implies that it is "swagtastic", how are we channeling individuality into our wardrobes?

Are the concepts of "fashion" and "style" really the same thing?

No, they aren't. In my world, fashion is what is trending and style is something that can only belong to one personality because it is more than just clothing.

My charge to my butterflies is this:

1. Do not forget who you are as you matriculate through your life. Make sure you are dressing to make a statement, a stylish statement rather than a fashionable one. 
2. Always dress to impress your audience; your husband, your children, your supervisors at work. You always want to look the best you can in whatever capacity you are in at the moment.
3. Take pride in who you are and let that translate through your wardrobe - if you have a colorful personality, add a splash of bright color with a accessory. It's all open for interpretation. 
4. Whatever you decide to wear make sure it is something that you feel physically comfortable in. Wearing something that is not comfortable will put you in a sour mood and distract from how awesome you are (i.e. Cherisse in heels)!
5. Shop within your budget and for your body. Do not be discouraged because your body type is different from someone else's or because your wallet is not as thick as you would like it to be. Embrace your body and budget and dress it up! Every-body has the potential to look great!

Whatever your style is, my tip is to make sure it is a TRUE representation of the person you are, the person you would like to be and what matters to you. This means that your outfit is an accurate portrayal of your personal brand, from head to toe! 

Decide Yourself (Part 3 of 4): Self-Esteem

Hello Butterflies!!

"Many people don't get what they want because they don't have the self-esteem to actually ask for it." -Mastin Kipp

The way the world is set up today it is easy for anyone to lose a large amount of their self-esteem. I lost my self esteem when I put myself in a position to be unemployed and I was not in school. I had nothing to look forward to and I was still carrying my grandmother's death with me, thinking that I could have done something to save her. Naturally, all of these emotions spelled out 
D-E-P-R-E-S-S-I-O-N.

After a couple of months of being in a rut, I began to dig myself out. I applied to a ton of jobs and sought advice from my mentors and I applied to be readmitted to school. I did get back into school and I went on a few interviews. Just that made me feel better. 

Here are the top 5 things I did to boost my self-esteem:

1. I Prayed - Prayer has always helped me to re-focus on my core beliefs and my conversations with God reveal what I am really thinking and feeling about the storm I am in at the moment.
2. Exercise Helps - I decided to take a walk everyday and get some fresh air. It gave me time to listen to music (which always puts me in a meditative state) and get my blood flowing and in turn my mind working again.
3. Getting to Know Me - I began to remember who I was, what I liked to do and that allowed me to feel good again.
4. Set Goals - The most important thing I did was to set new goals for myself. I set short term and long term goals. The short term goals would give me the boost of confidence I would need to achieve the long term goals. Once you can set goals for yourself, you know that your mind is in a healthy state.
5. Polish Your Image - Lastly, I had to take a stern look in the mirror and realize that there were parts of my physical appearance that I could change and feel better about myself. I set short term goals for my self-image in the form or new clothing, new accessories and better hair and skin care products. Long term I decided I would want to lose a certain amount of weight and that would make me healthier and feel more presentable.

In all the way you see yourself is how others will receive you. Be confident, be polished and be happy!
I did not see a change in my life until I began to ask myself to change. No one person on this earth can help you, if you do not want to help yourself. Ask for what you want and overcome your fears. Success is just a mindset away...

Have you ever experienced a moment in life when you didn't like yourself as much as you thought you should?